the amazing magical south park detroit adventure
by Salamencetopius
Summary: Kyle wants to know where alien cum comes from. warning lots of cusswords and "sexual bad-shit"


It all began like any other day.

Or so what little Jew Kyle thought.

This day would be like many others at first, Stan being emo, Kenny dying, Eric being a fat fuck. The usual real life bullshit. Halfway through the day however, was when things got weird. Really weird in fact. So weird that for the next two weeks Kyle would be simply lying in the fetal position in the corner of his bedroom crying like a little bitch. Different things happened to Stan, Kenny, and Eric as well but we'll get to them soon enough.

This is what happened on that faithful day-halfway through it specifically.

Oh my god, they killed Kenny! Stan shouted after Kenny died. Again.

YOU BASTARDS! Kyle soon followed.

Kenny had passed out and died from overindulging on alien cum. None of them knew it was alien cum at the time, they thought it was just soda or something. They always knew when Kenny overindulged in alien cum because when Kenny overindulged he always had his stoned out as hell eyes and usually threw up blood everywhere before dying completely. Suddenly a thought had stricken the little jewish ginger kid as he was standing there.

"Alright guys so we know that Kenny keeps overindulging himself on alien cum right."

"Yeah" Stan said like he didn't give two shits

"Shut up Jew" Eric said

"DON'T YOU BERATE MY RACE BUTTFUCKER, anyways so we should FIND OUT where it comes from so we just um, know."

"That sounds stupid as fuck" Eric spoke rolling his eyes

"FUCK YOU FATASS WE'RE DOING IT ANYWAYS" Kyle shouted back in his squeaky jew voice

Stan then said "Kyle stop shouting in capslock" and Kyle then rolled his eyes. He wasn't talking in caps lock most DEFINETLY. How do you even shout in capslock anyways? Kyle then noticed the bottle of alien cum was labeled "FROM DETROIT ALIENS ARE REAL, I'M NOT STUPID EVERYONE THINKS I'M LYING"

This sounded like just the kind of guy Kyle would be attracted to. If he was gay, which he wasn't except to Stan because he's a horrible little chooser.

"Kyle why are you so invested in that bottle." Stan said

"WE'RE MOTHERFUCKIN GOING TO DETROIT LET'S DO SHIT" Kyle shouted like a little Jew

"One question" Stan said

"YEAH STAN"

"How the hell are we going to get to Detroit"

Everyone sat there and Kyle said

"Well the author will just uh, put us there"

hOI GUIZ eIM THE AwTHER tHEYR iN DETROYYYtT nAOW- tem

"Alright I have no idea how the hell we got here so fast, but hey at least we're here." Stan yelled slightly over the muffled screams of someone getting choked to death because it's motherfucking Detroit

"Alright, so the address is "6969 fuck you boulevard" Kyle said while looking intently at the bottle let me just put it into google maps aaand my phone's gone.

"God. Fucking. Dammit." Stan said like a pissed off teenager

They walked around for a little while and eventually found the place, which was just a normal looking house with 9 bottles of beer around it which Stan took and drank all of them because he's savage as fuck. Anyways Kyle looked at the door intently

"kyle why the fuck do you keep looking at objects intently you jew" Eric said

"STOP CALLING ME A JEW YOU FAT FUCK" Kyle said

Kyle opened the door after 69 seconds and inside was a kid in glasses with stupid hair and a stupid robot slapping him in the face repeatedly with a table leg and then a irken with green skin and black hair that looked fake as hell stepped through the doorway.

"I AM ZIM, WHO ARE YOU PATHETIC EARTHWORMS, DIB HUMAN DID YOU DRAG THESE PEOPLE IN HERE FROM THE STREET"

"sorry zim but I'm not a human desiring whore unlike you"

"SHUT UP DIB HUMAN, ALRIGHT WORMS WHAT DO YOU WANT"

They just sat there for a while with Kyle looking intently at the floor and they said

"Is this where alien cum comes from"

Zim stared at them for a while and said "YES AND GET AWAY FROM ME YOU DIS-GUSTING EARTHWORMS!"

They left slowly and

hOI IM AUTHOR tHEY BACK iN SOUTHY-PARKY nAOW-tem

"Well that was fucking weird, Kyle what the hell are you-" Stan said before Kyle shouted "I'M JUST STARING INTENTLY AT THIS STOP SIGN I REALLY NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM DON'T LOOK" he started pulling down his pants and Stan said

"Kyle, ok I get you need to pee but please, just put your dick away."


End file.
